The Wedding LADOO

05 Jan

“Aik esa ladoo jo kha’ay wo bhee pachta’ay or jo na kha’ay wo

0784246bhee pachta’ay” Can you name this particular Ladoo? Can you? Aha! How intelligent you the young lot are… You got the answer “Shadi” at once. And why not baba…! After all the aforementioned riddle is in fact the most famous and approved saying unanimously.

Being knotted into sacred (one may read it “scared”, especially poor boys) relation of marriage is not only a social need but fulfillment of a significant religious obligation as well. For that reason three years back my elder brother thought to discharge of this particular responsibility and relish the taste of the most legendary Ladoo of the world as well.

Indubitably, for preparation of this Wedding-Ladoo the foremost ingredient besides my brother was certainly a girl-the expected Bhabi of mine. So what happened next is that before my mom had rummaged around a chand see dulhan for her chand sa beta, the Almighty Himself listened to her and granted a chand see daughter in law to her in the family. Soon after six months from then the lot of bachelors in my home reduced to two as my brother got married pretty soon after his engagement.

I remember when I was in fourth year there was a teacher of mine who used to say that in life there comes a time when wedding becomes a ‘requisite’ for you. You need an assistant, a partner to drive and mange the car of life. Just like my other obedient friends, I also moved my head in positive then. Tacitly, at that time all this fascinating philosophy seemed as correct as any statement of Chahcu Bush and as striking as the beauty of full moon. But now since I’ve stepped into the balcony of maturity, so when I try to analyze the “car” of married individuals, I get perplexed. I find myself in the opposition of my respected teacher, for marriage seems me nothing but the kindred of Aunty “inflation”.

First, even before marriage one requires bundles and bundles of money. The wealth, through which one can purchase a couple of Honda 125, is drained in buying the wedding jora of Dulhan. Adding fuel to fire, this particular jora is meant for one gorgeous night merely. The next time when one’s wife gets hold of it, one yearns to bump oneself into wall as she (the wife) says, “This suit is no more in use because the design has been out dated.” Now without any difficulty you can envisage the pathetic gesture of husband at this “comfy” remark by his wife.

Similarly other fixed wedding expenses like that of caterers, mithae, mehndi, lights, and the lists goes on and on just like countless conflicts in politics of our dear country, is not less than a bulky burden. And soon after the marriage another list of expenses, whose length might go across that of Minar-e-Paksitan, looks your way dancingly. And mind it, this particular catalog is not going to spare you unless you bid good bye to this mortal world.

At times when your wife will have to visit her mekay, obviously you’ll purchase a gift for your Sali-adhay ghar wali (sister in law). Sometimes you’ll have to go for an outside dinner which also can cost you heaps of money. And yes, be prepared mentally as soon after one or two years of the marriage you’ll receive a phone call or a message in your cell twice or thrice a month in such a way, u13231894Munnay k pampers hatam hoga’ay hain…” and then you’ll find another expenditure pulling faces at you. And last but not the least, do I need to mention the make up expenses of your spouse…? No, I think! :p

I know you people must be thinking that the writer has quite a pessimistic approach in regard of marriage, so before you people get exasperated let us try to analyze the picture through another angle. Where wedding brings a list of expenditures along with your wife there it also promises some ‘earnings’ as well. It’s a ritual in our part of world that soon after the marriage the new couple visits the place of kindred and other relatives where it is given an assortment of gifts in both cash and material form. And as far as the poor husband is concerned, certainly it is an auspicious omen for his pocket.

Another reaped fruit of marriage you may come across when you’ll return from your office. There will be ‘someone’ in the home who may greet you with a smile and provide you with pressed cloths. However, it’s only possible in the case when you have decent relationship with your spouse. God forbid if your wife is gnashing her teeth due to any reason, don’t be surprised if you are welcomed with a Wiper or a Jharo.

Being a bachelor of early twenties when I try to think over the ‘sweetness’ of this Ladoo called wedding, I actually get stunned for a moment and think, will I be able to digest this Ladoo or fall a prey to “indigestion”… Anyhow, for me still there’s a long time to go. Meanwhile my heartiest sympathies and supplications are for those who have eaten the Ladoo of wedding…. ;)


Posted by on January 5, 2009 in Humour


6 responses to “The Wedding LADOO

  1. Momal Mushtaq

    September 17, 2008 at 1:20 pm

    What a topic to write on =D I’m all laughing!

  2. [Meow]

    February 22, 2009 at 11:49 am

    Well.. I don’t think I agree with you :(

    1) If you’re rubbishing the expenses, just think: They’re SUPPOSED to be rubbished, duh! I mean, Islam doesn’t promote all of this. We’re not supposed to go overboard – not just in weddings, but ANYWHERE. This dowry, this jewellery, this car-shaar.. It’s not supposed to be there if you can’t afford it with perfect ease!

    2) Marriage and money – They so don’t go together. You talk of the cash and gifts given to the couple like they’re a life-saver. Well, they may be for some, but it’s the happiness that counts for others. The marriage-brings-money viewpoint – It’s so mean! Marriage is about happiness, and about love, NOT money :(

    3) “God forbid if your wife is gnashing her teeth due to any reason, don’t be surprised if you are welcomed with a Wiper or a Jharo.”

    Like so many other people, you’ve souped on Pakistani, socio-cultural gender stereotypes to limit the roles of both wife and husband. Where’s the mention that a wife with a nine to five job might come home to find a husband who’s ready to make her some tea?

    4) The article is totally written from the typical, biased-man’s point of view. Oh yes, the wife is so calling about “munna’s pampers” – and where’s the mention that the wife is serving all day long as domestic help, while the husband smokes a thousand cigarettes a minute?

    See why people call me too crazy a feminist? I can find gender discrimination even in the most well-intended humour =p

  3. fdsheikh

    February 24, 2009 at 8:09 pm

    Heartily respect your viewpoint. But the piece was intended to be taken lightly. I don’t think it’s apposite to discuss the issue here but when it comes towards ‘gender discrimination’ I truly can surmise a girl’s feelings. And once I’ve articulated my viewpoint on the very same topic as well. It was titling “Imprisoned Sparrows”. Do read, if are interested. It’s here in the blog. :)


  4. M. M.

    August 21, 2009 at 6:57 am

    Aawww… such a cute illustration ^^

  5. fdsheikh

    August 21, 2009 at 3:35 pm

    @ ^^^
    Which one? :P

  6. M. M.

    August 23, 2009 at 10:38 am

    The bride and the groom :D
    Cuuuuuuuuuuuuuute !!!!


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