“I don’t want to be married. I hate… I hate men more than any other thing on the globe. Men love women but don’t respect them, don’t trust them, don’t value them, don’t admire them… Men are the trees that blossom during ‘spring season’ of life but in vicissitudes, regardless to the fall of their ‘own leaves’, they always remain stiffened…” I was smashed to smithereens after listening to the views of Zaib-un-Nisa, a well-educated, decent and sophisticated girl; owning a cerebral mind. The views and observations of Zaibe always went across the seventh sky of intellectuality. But her notions about men made me crest fallen. I was down in the dumps after knowing, how much she used to detest male category.
I had seen a number of women who loathed men from the core of their heart. Nonetheless, I never paid heed to them thinking that they’re uneducated and their mentality is rooted on pessimism. But Zaib-un-Nisa who was miles away from ignorance and cynicism enforced me to rummage around for the factors that sow the seeds of hatred for men among various women.
Women are repressed in a society dominated by men. In such social order, they are always brought down in every walk of life. Whether we talk about housewives or working ladies, the “ego” of physically-vigorous-men can’t put up with the progress of physically-weakened-women. Even in this modern era, there exist a number of communities (specially in rural areas) that are utterly imprudent or badly informed about the status and deference, which Islam has bestowed to woman. They believe men are a cut above than women.
“Man love woman but don’t respect her”. Apparently it may seem bit illogical and mystified sentence but it particularly speaks about a woman who is living in rural area, whose so-called “Majaz-e-Khuda” doesn’t mark his better half more than a cook, a source of pleasure and a sentry for his offspring. In the love of such husband, the element of reverence, value and veneration (for his wife) doesn’t exist. After being fed up, he leaves her in lurch. And despite countless brutalities, such woman compromises in the concealment of “motherhood” and keeps on smoldering for her children just like frying corns in a furnace… The way of communication of some husbands with their spouses, sometimes confounds me, whether they confer with their ‘Life Partner’ or with a servant. Abusing over trifles is the routine of most the husbands of this society (specially in backward areas).
Marriage is the Sunnah of Prophet (PBUH) as it protects the chastity of both men and women. Holy Quran underscores the significance of the relationship between husband and wife in this way, “They (your wives) are your garment, and you are a garment for them.” (2:187) But today, a number of lasses do not want to get in this garment. They prefer to stay away from the sacred relation of marriage. The reason behind that is the mean and callous behaviour of men towards them.
“I can realize the sanctity of the relation between husband and wife. Marriage itself isn’t a problem for the girls but the notion, which roves around them like a nightmare is to be committed with a ‘wrong person’. Because when the name of a girl is associated with a man, it forms the foundations of the entire life ahead for the girl. She feels herself to be under the shelter of love, respect and protection. But when this shelter proves to be a snake in the grass, it devastates the entire life”, speaks Mahjabeen, a student of Punjab University Lahore.
They say that human being is ‘effigy of faults’. Though, it doesn’t mean that man is made for committing blunders; but if one’s life partner has some displeasing qualities, one can ignore them on the basis of her virtuous habits. Above all, “being flawless” is the angelic quality. It’s the secret of prosperous and successful life to look for good traits in one’s personality and neglect the unpleasant ones.
It’s believed that during this era women have been liberated and provided with their rights more than ever before. They are given countless opportunities in every walk of life and are protected with the shelter of ordinances. But sorry to say, where there isn’t any clause of respect in one’s ‘heart’ for other, all such ordinances and rights are in vain. Unless men contemplate women with true love and deference, and salute their significance in their life; the seeds of hatred for men among women can’t be replaced by those of love. In such drastic conditions, there will be a large number of Zaib-un-Nisas who would always imprecate duplicity and betrayal of men just like imprisoned sparrows, ensnared by the hunters…!
(S+ Magazine, The Nation)