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Imprisoned Sparrows

01 Oct

 

“I don’t want to be married. I hate… I hate men more than any other thing on the globe. Men love women but don’t respect them, don’t trust them, don’t value them, don’t admire them… Men are the trees that blossom during ‘spring season’ of life but in vicissitudes, regardless to the fall of their ‘own leaves’, they always remain stiffened…” I was smashed to smithereens after listening to the views of Zaib-un-Nisa, a well-educated, decent and sophisticated girl; owning a cerebral mind. The views and observations of Zaibe always went across the seventh sky of intellectuality. But her notions about men made me crest fallen. I was down in the dumps after knowing, how much she used to detest male category.

I had seen a number of women who loathed men from the core of their heart. Nonetheless, I never paid heed to them thinking that they’re uneducated and their mentality is rooted on pessimism. But Zaib-un-Nisa who was miles away from ignorance and cynicism enforced me to rummage around for the factors that sow the seeds of hatred for men among various women.

Women are repressed in a society dominated by men. In such social order, they are always brought down in every walk of life. Whether we talk about housewives or working ladies, the “ego” of physically-vigorous-men can’t put up with the progress of physically-weakened-women. Even in this modern era, there exist a number of communities (specially in rural areas) that are utterly imprudent or badly informed about the status and deference, which Islam has bestowed to woman. They believe men are a cut above than women.

“Man love woman but don’t respect her”. Apparently it may seem bit illogical and mystified sentence but it particularly speaks about a woman who is living in rural area, whose so-called “Majaz-e-Khuda” doesn’t mark his better half more than a cook, a source of pleasure and a sentry for his offspring. In the love of such husband, the element of reverence, value and veneration (for his wife) doesn’t exist. After being fed up, he leaves her in lurch. And despite countless brutalities, such woman compromises in the concealment of “motherhood” and keeps on smoldering for her children just like frying corns in a furnace… The way of communication of some husbands with their spouses, sometimes confounds me, whether they confer with their ‘Life Partner’ or with a servant. Abusing over trifles is the routine of most the husbands of this society (specially in backward areas).

Marriage is the Sunnah of Prophet (PBUH) as it protects the chastity of both men and women. Holy Quran underscores the significance of the relationship between husband and wife in this way, “They (your wives) are your garment, and you are a garment for them.” (2:187) But today, a number of lasses do not want to get in this garment. They prefer to stay away from the sacred relation of marriage. The reason behind that is the mean and callous behaviour of men towards them.

“I can realize the sanctity of the relation between husband and wife. Marriage itself isn’t a problem for the girls but the notion, which roves around them like a nightmare is to be committed with a ‘wrong person’. Because when the name of a girl is associated with a man, it forms the foundations of the entire life ahead for the girl. She feels herself to be under the shelter of love, respect and protection. But when this shelter proves to be a snake in the grass, it devastates the entire life”, speaks Mahjabeen, a student of Punjab University Lahore.

They say that human being is ‘effigy of faults’. Though, it doesn’t mean that man is made for committing blunders; but if one’s life partner has some displeasing qualities, one can ignore them on the basis of her virtuous habits. Above all, “being flawless” is the angelic quality. It’s the secret of prosperous and successful life to look for good traits in one’s personality and neglect the unpleasant ones.

It’s believed that during this era women have been liberated and provided with their rights more than ever before. They are given countless opportunities in every walk of life and are protected with the shelter of ordinances. But sorry to say, where there isn’t any clause of respect in one’s ‘heart’ for other, all such ordinances and rights are in vain. Unless men contemplate women with true love and deference, and salute their significance in their life; the seeds of hatred for men among women can’t be replaced by those of love. In such drastic conditions, there will be a large number of Zaib-un-Nisas who would always imprecate duplicity and betrayal of men just like imprisoned sparrows, ensnared by the hunters…!

(S+ Magazine, The Nation)

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18 Comments

Posted by on October 1, 2008 in Issues, My Favourites

 

18 responses to “Imprisoned Sparrows

  1. [Meow]

    March 14, 2009 at 3:57 am

    EXCELLENT article, and lots of hats off to you for writing it =]

    Gender discrimination has been rampant for ages but, recently, it’s been seen in all-new ways: The burning of schools meant to educate girls, the forceful [and brutal] methods adopted to stop women from working and leaving the house. It is so very clear that extremists doing it in the name of Islam don’t even know the fundamentals of the religion they claim to be spreading: Education, for both Muslim women and men, is a religious obligation and, in every sense, the most significant one.

    That aside, men who believe they are “a cut above women” – Isn’t it funny that a lot of those we-are-a-cut-above believing IDIOTS are the ones who smoke and drink all day long, with wives who sweat themselves out the week throughout to keep their fires running? If they’re a cut above, these men, why can’t they do run the house? Or at least provide their families one, measly meal a day? And if they’re physically stronger, why are they dependent on their women, the SUPPOSEDLY “weaker” sex, to provide them with everything [including money they can waste on cigarettes, and other stupid stuff]?

    The world does have its share of “good” men, thankfully, but a heavy majority of men definitely needs to be grabbed by the shoulders, and shaken. HARD.

     
  2. fdsheikh

    April 8, 2009 at 2:12 am

    Cent percent agreed with you. Actually, both man and woman are incomplete without each other.
    Thanks for the appreciation. Certainly means a lot to me. :)

     
  3. Amna

    July 27, 2010 at 3:21 am

    Nice Article,

    My 2 cents
    In our general society men hav’nt any respect for women, one can experienced it on roads, bus stops, in buses, in bazars etc. I never understand where the fault lies, why our men are so frustarted in overall society,
    The article reflects well the noval approach being developed in young girls, i think its not just because they notice rude behaviour of men with their wifes, but its because of overall attitude of men towards women in society.

    Amna

     
  4. FD Sheikh

    July 27, 2010 at 5:53 pm

    Thanks Amna.
    Well primarily that’s lack of knowledge and awareness. Plus men haven’t been able to realize the status and significance of women. at the same time, i personally believe, women are also at fault. In the name of liberty and fundamental rights they are following/doing something that is Not supposed to be done.

     
  5. Imran Liaqat

    April 25, 2012 at 3:16 pm

    an excellent offer especially from a man’s pen. Congratulations brother. It’s my favorite topic BTW

     
  6. FD.Sheikh

    April 25, 2012 at 3:16 pm

    Thank you so much brother. I hope typical men class learn something from it. Ameen

     
  7. Imran Liaqat

    April 25, 2012 at 3:17 pm

    yes, sure, but if they would read it and this kind of literature especially in English is out of reach for them

     
  8. FD.Sheikh

    April 25, 2012 at 3:17 pm

    Right you are… But still it creates awareness, you know. Believe you me, even in today’s era there are number of “educated” men like us who are utterly unaware of women rights and their significance in life. That’s why i feel such write ups are pertinent for them too.

     
  9. Imran Liaqat

    April 25, 2012 at 3:17 pm

    yes I know some of them in real life. education sometimes cant change mind set

     
  10. Faseeh Ahmed

    April 25, 2012 at 3:21 pm

    yes,
    usually men get education only for sake of earning livelihood and not for awareness.
    may ALLAH help us! aameen :)

     
  11. Amjad Baloch

    April 29, 2012 at 2:02 am

    sir ap exceptional hynnnnnnnn,,,,,,,,,,,no dout

     
  12. FD.Sheikh

    April 29, 2012 at 2:03 am

    thank you. jazakAllah! It’s all on the part of Almighty Allah.

     
  13. Hira Mawra

    April 29, 2012 at 2:04 am

    nicely done fd :) i am a bit confused here….. r u focusing this aspect regarding marriage only? r u trying to say that girls are hesitant to get married only due to this particular aspect or u r bringing this aspect under discussion linking it with marriage?

     
  14. FD.Sheikh

    April 29, 2012 at 2:04 am

    thnk u hira. :) we actually can not segregate any of these three aspects. as these are some unfortunate realities of this society. so giving vent to all.

     
  15. Hassam Tahir

    April 29, 2012 at 10:52 pm

    spot on man!

     
  16. Amjad Baloch

    April 29, 2012 at 10:52 pm

    humm,little bit confusing but its reality i think………………….—–;;;////,,,,,,,?

     
  17. Hira Mawra

    April 29, 2012 at 10:53 pm

    girls are not hesitant of marriage only due to this, bt i gx dis is the primary cause unfortunately!

     
  18. FD.Sheikh

    April 29, 2012 at 10:54 pm

    yes. right you are, Hira. that’s not the only reason. but still one of the most significant ones.

    thanks Hassam Tahir

    @ Amjad Baloch
    what’s so confusing? would be pleased to know your viewpoint. :)

     

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