I remember, when I was in my mid teens, I implanted a baby mango tree in the gardenia of my house. At that time, the level of my curiosity was that whenever I got up in the morning for school, I always inquired about my tiny plant before anything else. Watering the baby fellow, caressing its little yielding green leaves and gazing at it with sweet smile was my routine. At times, my mom would have to remind me that there were only 15 minutes left for school bus to come. Then dressing up in scurry and drinking the glass full of creamy milk in a single breath (holding my nose) is a memorable time of my childhood.
The growing number of new leaves on the plant brimmed up my love and care for it. And when its rising height crossed that of mine, calling it a baby tree didn’t seem appropriate to me and I happily eliminated the word ‘baby’. That tall mango tree was the result of my years of hard work. I was expecting to have fruit in abundance from it now, but mango was far away that tree didn’t produce even a kaddu. I looked after the tree since it was not more than a tiny bud, cared for it more than myself, watered it at proper time, refined its mud twice a week, and enriched it with various fertilizers needed from time to time, but all my efforts drained when it didn’t reimburse me in good terms. It made me quite depressed, quite…
It’s exactly the same condition from which a number of parents undergo. They give birth to their child, take the best care of his/her health and provide him/her with all those amenities which are unknown to him/her but are indispensable for the life. Putting their lives at stake, they provide the best to eat, the best to live and the best to wear to their off springs. They sacrifice their personal life for the bread and butter of their children. And when in return their children don’t reimburse them for their heart rendering efforts, it pinches them just as the fruitless tree, for which I drained away a number of years.
If anything doesn’t come up according to our expectations we want to do away with it at once (as I wanted to with my tree) but look at the generosity of parents, despite all these ill fortunes they never even think of neglecting their off spring. They still love them more than their own life… The relation of blood forces them to sacrifice their lives for the pleasure of their children.
Do we really acknowledge their efforts?
From the very beginning, when one steps into the balcony of learning, one is told about the status and importance of parents in life. We are told how our parents put up with the countless hardships of life just for us. And the most interesting point is that almost all of us highly acknowledge the exertions and dignity of parents from our heart, but things turn to be saddened when this acknowledgment just remains somewhere in the heart. It is found frequently within the boundaries of course books, articles in the magazines and speeches in seminars etc. But it never seems to be prominent in our practical life.
Strange tendency among youngsters
There is a strange tendency among most of the youngsters who obey their parents; they think that by remaining at beck and call of their parents they perform some thing “extraordinary”. They are frequently found grumbling that their parents don’t take care of themselves, don’t understand their feelings, put unnecessary restrictions or give more importance to other siblings, etc. “You may have heard many of the youngsters saying: ‘I greet my dad when he returns home, I make tea when he’s tired and pick up the clothes that he left on the floor. And similarly I fulfil all my other responsibilities.’ But I ask, what about the time you shouted at them for not getting you what you wanted, or when you grumbled and groaned the house down because your mother told you to clean your room, or when you couldn’t possibly keep the volume down just because they were sleeping?” says Iqra.
If we remain polite, obedient and submissive to our parents it’s not something extra on our part, as it’s is our fundamental duty to take care of our parents. The Holy Quran asks us to be kind to our parents and: “Say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honour. The phrase “say not to them a word of contempt”, means that Allah has forbidden us to say even a single word which may be impolite or disrespectful to our parents.
Restrictions — due or undue
Recently, I conducted a short survey and asked about the “dearest possession of the people aged 10-20”. In reply there came various interesting notes: “My iPod”, “Play station”, “My heavy bike”, “My sweet and lovely Barbie doll”, “My cutest Mano Billi, meeaaoon”, and so forth. And in the second stage of the survey when I asked the reaction of these fellows on the loss of their dearest possession, the emotional replies were, “Impossible, my dada sent this iPod from England, I can’t spare such a loss”, “I’ll cry endlessly, I can’t live without my Mano”, “I can never think of it” and so on…
Actually, when any dear possession of a person is separated or even is kept at a short distance from him/her, he/she remains anxious about it. One always looks for a safe and sound position for one’s dearest thing, even when it’s already out of harm’s way. Same is the case with parents; they always want betterment, prosperity and security for their children and in doing so if they put some restrictions upon us we should never mind as we are as dear to them as our iPods and dolls are to us. If a child has intentions to do an act which isn’t fruitful for him/her, it’s the duty of parents to advice them. For this they can rebuke, scold, and even hit them. Although, sometimes restrictions seem to be undue (I agree at times they aren’t that much necessary), even then we ought to be polite and patient.
Things turn to be precious when they don’t remain with us. Just ask those whose parents aren’t in this world now how do they feel, you may realise the significance of the treasure (parents) in your home. “It feels that I’m without a shelter now. There’s no one to protect me from any evil, to advice me truly from heart, to love beyond his life and to look after me more than himself. I feel myself to be lost in a jungle where everyone is ready to victimise me,” says Nabeel, a friend whose parents passed away in a car accident last year.
Just a matter of feeling
It’s just a matter of feeling, if one performs one’s duties taking them as burden, one would never be able to render his/her due, but on other hand if one fulfils them gleefully, one not only will accomplish his/her duties appropriately but will relish them as well.
While performing your duties towards your parents, take pleasure in them and if they impose any restrictions, feel to be lucky that there’s someone who cares for you. Just spend a month in this way you’ll feel mental relaxation and pleasure truly from the core of your heart.
(Dawn, 2 February, 2008)