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It Takes Two to get it Right – Dowry Vs Well Settled Larka

DowryWell, certainly there is no second opinion that we ought to get rid of this curse. This five letter word, dowry has hindered dreams of happily married life of innumerable lasses of the society. The complete code of life, Islam, nowhere endorses the idea of dowry. The concept of dowry typically relates of Hinduism where girls were not given any share in inheritance. If we study about marriage ceremony of Hazrat Fatima, the dearest daughter of Holy Prophet SAW, we nowhere come across that Holy Prophet PBUH specially managed to arrange something for his dearest daughter in the name of dowry, as it is prevailing these days.
Recently, an online campaign has been launched with hashtags of “#StopJahezKhori”, “#JahezKhoriBandKaro” (Stop dowry). This online movement has got a welcoming response on social media and this is quite encouraging that people from various walks of life are chipping in this campaign without any reluctance. But the point is how actually this idea would materialize into reality. It is being said that, generally, those of us who are actually supporting this campaign belong to families who not only arrange lavish dowry but also spend millions on various functions in the name of wedding. Besides, some of us are coming up with parallel hashtags series i.e. “#StopAskingForSettledLarka”, “WellSettledLarkaMangnaBandKaro” (stop looking for well settled son-in-law), #BridalShowerBandKaro etc. This is quite unfortunate. We should not victimize a noble campaign by highlighting another social evil prevailing in the society. However, at the same time we ought to reconsider the transformation of marriages into really luxurious events. Wasting hundreds of thousands in the name of bridal showers, wedding joras, catering of the events, flower decors, mayoon etc. and offering/demanding millions’ dowry would certainly leave the middle and lower middle class families into a fix and they will fall a prey to inferiority complex. Resultantly, by hook or by crook, they will also have to bear this agony. Unless, those of us who can afford these luxurious events and items of millions, adopt a moderate approach in weddings, the fruitful outcome of such campaigns cannot be witnessed.
When it comes towards “asking for well settled larka”, parents of a girl, undoubtedly, are rightful to inquire about gentlemanliness and a reasonable source of income of the boy with whom they plan to marry their daughter. Nevertheless, here again we don’t remain limited to the limits where we ought to be. In our society, parents have been seen looking for a Damad (son-in-law) who is earning six figures salary per month and, at the same time, they have been observed poking their nose inquiring about lavish bank balance, luxury cars and bungalow, the prospective son-in-law owns. Here parents of a girl should also remain moderate and give first preference to gentlemanliness while choosing their son-in-law.
Neither Islam categorically forbids inquiring about reasonable source of income of prospective son-in-law nor it stops gifting something to your daughter, son, son-in-law, daughter-in-law or any other relationship. However, it clearly negates splurge and Dowryextravagance. And mind it, gifting something also nowhere permits you to exploit parents of a girl to spend millions in the name of this so-called-gift – dowry. So parents of boys who take the shelter “apni beiti ko he gift dena hai, hamain thori kuch dena” (parents will gift their daughter not us) are nowhere permitted to take the undue benefit of this phenomenon. Neither they have any right to comment (read: taunt) if parents of girl gift (or don’t gift) anything to her nor they are rightful to demand anything in the name of dowry. Rather it is the responsibility of the boy marrying the girl to manage their sources of living. So, whether you are on the side of “stopping jahezkhori” or a proponent of “stopping demanding well settled larka”, let’s come out of this filthy status quo mindset and mend our respective ends. After all, it takes two to get it right.
#StopJahezKhori
#Well-SettleLarkaMangnaBandKaro

The article was originally published in The News International. 18 Feb, 19

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Posted by on April 5, 2019 in Uncategorized

 

In Conversation With Qasim Ali Shah

453376_3436038_coast_magazineIn today’s world, where depression and despair is spread all around, it is not easy to remain focused and positive in every walk of life. Qasim Ali Shah, has cracked this nut stupendously. Mr. Shah is a world recognized motivational speaker, trainer, writer and educator. His instinctive capability of twining positivity and motivation in human thought process through his motivational talks and discussions make him distinctive among others. To date he has made more than five hundred videos and has written assortment of articles in his various books helping humanity in unleashing optimistic and sanguine thought process. He has trained thousands of people including government officials, CSP officers, employees of multinationals and students. He is also running an organization, Qasim Ali Shah Foundation, with an aim to spread intellect and wisdom in the society. Today Us is delighted to have a chit chat session with him.

Us: Sir, first of all tell Us something about your childhood. As a youngster, what are the traits that in your opinion should be taught to and be a part of today’s youngsters’ personality?

QAS: I believe, it was my good luck that the memories for which people have to go back in the past to recollect them, I have them recorded in my diary. Writing diary enables us to see that how we were seeing life during different phases of our life. At that time, I remember, I was a very imaginative, passionate, focused and monomaniacal sort of person. I was involved deeply in the world of fantasy. My grandpa was a man of principles and hence was my role model. I think in today’s world an average family’s kid doesn’t have any shortage of resources. The only thing he/she lacks is character building and instilment of moralities in his/her personality. We, as parents, are quite impressive in making pieces of advices to our kids but at the same time we have to keep in mind that the traits parents want to instill in their child should be a part of parents’ own personalities first. Our kids are being offered quality education in schools but they are far away from moralities and character building that is taught by parents through their own living style.

Us: Any edifying incident of your life that you would like to share with Us.

QAS: When I was kid, one day my father took me to his boss’ office. When we entered, I was holding my father’s hand and I felt his hands quivering. My father gave my introduction to his boss but he thoroughly ignored me and offensively rebuked my father for not completing the assignment given to him. I got overwhelmed seeing my father and promised myself neither to be a boss like him nor to be an employee like my father. In my life, I will never want to work where I have to fear because I love my freedom.

Us: What is the worst human behavior you have ever observed?

QAS: One-word answer to this question is “impatience”. People today want shortcut in every walk of life. Though, it is about earning money, getting fame, marking achievements, scoring good grades; people avoid working hard for it. If their work is not completed timely according to their wish, they get frustrated and give up soon. This behavior keeps them away from achieving success in their life. Mind it, marking success is a continuous journey. You can’t realize any dream overnight. You have to develop an attitude to work harder. Overnight realization of dream might be possible in movies or dreams but it is not practical in real life.

Us: What habits make a man successful?Qasim Ali Shah

QAS: In 20 years of my professional life, I have noticed that there are two types of people in the world. One is a group of people that is well skilled but has no values. Other group consists of people with less skills but high values. The second group, in my opinion, is a group of successful people. Those of us who tend to have more focus towards values or moralities in life i.e. they fulfill their promises, observe proper time table, they accept their faults, speak truth, plan their day well etc., they tend to be more successful. So skills are not enough, you ought to work on values a lot.

Us: And what does it take to change a habit?

QAS: One-word answer is “will-power”.

Us: The ratio of divorce in our society is getting increased day by day. In your opinion, what is the key to keep any relationship smoothened and strengthened? What are the condiments of a successful marital relationship?

QAS: Record divorces have taken place in recent past years. We conducted a research and facts revealed that out of eighteen thousand plus divorces that took place in Lahore last year, one of the fundamental reason of divorce was a marriage that took place in haste owing to flowing emotions of the prospective couple, measuring financial status of others and without considering the values of the prospective families. Family is not a knot of two persons only, it is a bondage of two families. The prospective couple and bonding families must keep in mind that we human beings are combination of good and bad habits. The prospective couple, after marriage, must keep in mind that a man does not live with a man but with the habits of a man. Youngsters today ought to learn and at the same time it should be taught by parents and teachers that we have to accept the other person with his or her good and bad habits both. This acknowledgement and commitment keeps the relationship going and strengthening.

Us: You are inspiration for many of us, tell Us who is your inspiration?

QAS: Wasif Ali Wasif. I believe, had I not been introduced to Wasif Ali Wasif I could never have discovered myself. He helped me discover the philosopher in me and I believe what I have done by today, it is all owing to him.

Us: Sir, tell Us about something Qasim Ali Shah Foundation? What’s purpose and vision this organization?02

QAS: The fundamental concept behind Qasim Ali Shah foundation is to share and spread intellect and wisdom among masses. It is one of its own type of foundation that carries on its unique vision without asking for funds from donors.

Us: You always look quite motivated. It is not always easy to observe consistency in mood. Being a motivational speaker, how do you keep yourself motivated all the time and what would you suggest to remain motivated?

QAS: Motivation is a state of mind that keeps you on driving seat. Human state of mind keeps changing due to internal and external factors. The one who learns to deal with these internal and external factors, specially the negative ones, can manage and control his state of mind well. It is quite natural that despite being motivational speaker one may get sad but point is one has to have control over his emotions/state of mind, instead of letting emotions/state of mind control him or her.

Us: How can anyone discover the field for which he/she has been made for?

QAS: Any task or work that takes you out from the boundaries of time, space and tiredness is your passion; hence, being the field you have been made for. Any of you yearning to be a cricketer would never dither practicing cricket even during sheer summers noon. He may get tired for the time being but he would remain passionate even to play under scorching sun. This is how he is made for, so you are for your respective fields. So if you come across any activity of this type where you don’t get bored, mentally tired rather remain passionate; it is the field you have been made for. Embrace it.

Us: Can a man mend his fate in his favour?

QAS: I would like to relate a quote of Dr Abdul Kalam here that nothing can change one’s fate except one’s habits. Those who can alter their habits, can mend their fate as well. All of us know what habits one should nurture. When you bring a positive change in your habits and remain consistent, nature automatically starts shaping your fate in your favor.

Us: Sir, any regret in your life?

QAS: *Smiles* Standards of regrets have got changed. When I was young, I used to have, you can say, bit childish regrets. Now regrets have got matured. *Chuckles* For instance, when I look back at past, I regret times where my energy got wasted. I regret the times where I wasted time. But then at the same time I believe, these were the life time lessons for me that taught me and made me more strengthened and strong person.

Us: Sir, please suggest a must read book for youngsters.
QAS: 7 Habits of highly effective teenagers.

Us: Thank you so much for your time.

QAS: Pleased and humbled.

 
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Posted by on April 5, 2019 in Uncategorized

 

Leading from the front – IFA Pakistan

IFA_Logo_Master_HRInstitute of Financial Accountants (IFA), member body of IFAC, organized its second series of quarterly conferences on 16, 19 and 26 October at Lahore, Islamabad and Karachi respectively. The conferences, based on the theme “leading from the front”, were attended by a large number of business professionals, consultants and trainers employed in public practice, industry, and in the private sector. A good number of students also appeared in and got benefited from the events held in key cities of the Ansar A Qcountry.
Held on 16th of October, second quarterly conference at Lahore was graced by Mr. Ansar A. Quershi as a guest speaker. Talking about leadership in today’s business world Mr. Quershi, a renowned international speaker and trainer, said that proficiency and being proactive are the two fundamental characteristics that a leader in this modern and fast business world must possess. Ms. Sadia Malik, an international trainer and professional coach, while addressing to students and professionals at Islamabad highlighted the significance of organizational culture and its impact on masses in d9b7e5fc-24c1-4a4e-b8ed-579059806c26working place. The attendees, specially young students, were charmed and motivated in member success story session by Mr. Farhan Dilawar, Chief Internal Auditor of Punjab Model Bazaar Management Company Industries, Commerce and Investment Department of Government of the Punjab. Mr. Sheikh advised students to remain focused to achieve their targets and for this he suggested to be friends with a routine of writing diary.

In recent past, being non-filer or filer of Income Tax Return has been a significant matter of discussion among the many. People, at times, where hesitate to file an annual Karachi Groupreturn of income tax, there benefits of being filer also attract their attention. Karachi conference, therefore, brought to light significance of being a filer and spread awareness about it. Mr. Haider Imam, member of Karachi Tax Bar and Pakistan Institute of Public Finance Accountants, stated that latest amendments in income tax ordinance / finance act attempt to take in loop more and more number of persons to enhance tax circle. He further added that once one gets registered (filer) under Income Tax Ordinance, percentage of tax imposed in different financial transactions, that pertain to routine life, drops considerably resulting positive impacts on one’s pocket. In the end Mr. Amjad Hussain Durrani, Chief Internal Auditor of Pakistan Industrial Development Corporation Karachi proposed vote of thanks to the guest of honor and all Lahore Groupother visitors. The visitors benefited thoroughly from his insightful and balanced analysis over scope of internal auditing in various organizations.
Addressing the large number of attendees, regional director of IFA Pakistan, Mr. Abdul Shakoor said that IFA has been producing thousands of business professional for last many decades. It is the outcome of stringent compliance with its core values and up to date curriculum that today IFA group has more than 36000 qualified business professional and students who are serving in more than 80 countries. Islamabad GroupAt the end of the conference, guests of honor were awarded shields and certificates were distributed among newly qualified members. The quarterly conferences concluded with a hope that business education in Pakistan will remain updated with changing requirements of the era and young business professionals will play their role dedicatedly in bringing Pakistan out of the current financial crunch.

 
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Posted by on November 23, 2018 in Uncategorized

 

IFA Pakistan – Conquering New Horizons

downloadSince its inception, the profession of accountancy has been one of the highly venerated and significant career not only in Pakistan rather all over the world. Under patronage of International Federation of Accountants (IFAC), the global accounting standard-setter and regulator, various accountancy bodies all over the globe have been working for a disciplined mechanism of the profession and smooth handling of business transactions. Keeping in view the highly demanding prospects of the profession in Pakistan, various accountancy bodies have started offering its certifications and memberships to students and professionals so that they may strengthen their professional knowledge and serve the organization in their best capacities. IFA_Logo_Master_HREstablished in 1916, Institute of Financial Accountants UK (IFA), a full member of IFAC, recently organized its first series of quarterly branch meetings here in Pakistan. A series of two conferences commenced here in Lahore and concluded in Karachi.
Consisting of thematic discussions about “Work Life Balance”, “Block-chain Process” and “Contemporary Finance and the need of Research”, the Lahore and Karachi conferences were graced by a large number of business professionals employed in public practice, industry, and the public and private sectors. Where the conferences conferred an opportunity to young accountants and business professionals to meet and get benefited from a unique blend of thought provoking leaders, innovators, chartered accountants, business and economic analysts there at the same time the officials of the body conferred 1.2membership certificates to its newly qualified members in Pakistan.
Talking about “block-chair process”, Mr. Anayat ullah, ACA said, “The new business world is going to witness a dramatic transformation through block-chain process – a digital ledger in which transactions made in bitcoin or another cryptocurrency are recorded chronologically and publicly. This would ease up swift settlement of transactions in no time.” Endorsing significance of research in contemporary finance, Mr. Rakesh Parakash, MBA Finance, Ph.D Financial Distress said, “In today’s fast pacing modern business world, meaningful research and to the point interpretation of it, has been of paramount significance. I am glad that in Pakistan, we are not only realizing significance of financial research but at the same time are being successful in its meaningful practical implementation.”
Apart from numbers and business talks, the conference also had something easy on mind yet extremely important discussion for accounts in modern world i.e. work life balance. Talking about work life balance, Mr. Amer Shakeel, ACA, ACMA was of the view, “In order to live a peaceful and energetic life in real sense, we ought to get rid of this 1.2 edrobotic life and realize the significance of work life balance. Spending entire day just for earning bucks of dollars and taking no care of health and family life, takes us away from nature and makes us live a living of machines.”
In the end, certificates were distributed among newly qualified members of IFA. Mr. Abdul Shakoor, regional director IFA Pakistan cast light upon upcoming branch activities and prospects for students in IFA. The two days’ conference concluded in Karachi with a vote of thanks by Mr. Jawad, country head finance in a private multinational organization. He congratulated newly qualified IFAs and wished them best of luck in their upcoming professional journey.

 

This article of mine was originally published in The News International – 11 May, 2018 https://www.thenews.com.pk/magazine/us/315007-ifa-pakistan-conquering-new-horizons

 
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Posted by on May 23, 2018 in Uncategorized

 

Freedom Has a Cost

PSL-2018-Match-Schedule-Timing-PDF-DownloadWell, I was literally exasperated. The distance that, in normal routine, took not more than twenty minutes was not being covered even in three hours’ time. It was all jammed. A single motor bike was unable to move and adding fuel to fire the noise of horns, bikes and car engines was getting on to nerves. Traffic police also seemed helpless. And what was this all owing to? Thanks to Pakistan Super League – PSL, the long awaited couple of days that cost the flow of daily traffic in Lahore gravely.
Finally, after three and a half hours’ hassle, I reached home nitpicking PCB and the management of the big event. Peshawar Zalmi was on fire. Kamran Akmal was smashing fours and sixes like politicians bashing their opponents. Gradually, the exasperation and frustration started melting with the warmth of the overall aura in the TV lounge of my home. Wearing their favorite team’s t-shirt my nephews and other family members were relishing eliminating round of PSL. In no time I also joined in; as like all other Pakistanis, I am also a diehard fan of cricket. The innings concluded and we also got off to dining 303555_4342952_magazinetable chit chatting about semifinal, who-will-win-the-game predictions, and the upcoming matches of PSL. No doubt, apart from discussions about prevailing political scenarios in the country and other frustrating news that are the defining trait of news channels these days; discussion of PSL was really a pleasant change. We had something to cherish about, something light and composing to talk about.
The next day of the match, I got to see mix responses in office regarding PSL. Some were lamenting about traffic jam and improper provision of alternate routes for traffic and some were recollecting the joy of watching a cricket match live in the stadium. Whereas on social media situation was not much different either. A friend’s uncle who has happened to be an asthmatic patient was furious as, owing to blocked roads, he couldn’t attend his doctor. Another colleague who is a nutritionist missed her live appearance in a TV show owing to the same reason. But she was not agitated at all. According to her the level of joy of return of cricket in the Land of Pure is much more than the suffering of missing a live appearance. Similarly, there were many other posts in favor and against of 303555_5916783_magazineholding PSL in Pakistan under such a strict monitoring. Nevertheless, being an accountant I personally feel everything on this globe carries an “opportunity cost” that we must have to bear in order to avail it. Back in 1947 when we got independence from British and Indian rule, our elders had to bear its opportunity cost i.e. they left their businesses, properties to migrate Pakistan and above all they were not reluctant even in sacrificing their lives. Similarly, in today’s era where we are surrounded by terrorism and undesired tags internationally, holding such kind of joyful events successfully is, undoubtedly, defeat of ill forces working against Pakistan. Ultimately, this will set us free from terrorism and ill aims of opponents. And in order to get freedom from terrorism we’ll have to pay some cost as they rightly say, “Freedom has a cost”. Waiting for hours in traffic to reach home is nothing as compare to sacrifice of lives that was offered by our elders when they got their independence back in 1947. Long live Pakistan!

 

This article of mine was originally published in The News International –  13 Aprii, 2018 https://www.thenews.com.pk/magazine/us/303555-for-the-love-of-cricket

 
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Posted by on May 23, 2018 in Uncategorized

 

The Joy of Giving…

Nadeem Caterers Qaddaffi Stadium LahoreWhen I used to hear the word “disabled”, I visualized a human being who is unable to talk, hear or walk like other healthy individuals. But after participating in the gathering of special children, arranged by Catering and Restaurant Association, my perceptions towards children and adults with disabilities have changed significantly. When differently-abled individuals are brought up and trained properly, they can live a healthy life and contribute to society.
The first monthly gathering of this initiative was arranged by Nadeem Caterers at Qaddafi Stadium Lahore Restaurant. At the gathering, special children were accompanied by several renowned personalities: Qasim Ali Shah, a motivational speaker, writer and trainer, Shahid Qadir, a social worker and Director Complaint Cell Chief Minister Punjab, and Abdul Ghori, Branch Head of a private bank joined the cheerful audience.289886_1213879_magazine
Qasim Ali Shah appreciated the initiative, “In today’s materialistic society, events like this should be encouraged. We need to eliminate selfishness from the society.
“People brag about their achievements and qualifications, but I feel more proud after spending a full day with these children who are smarter and more intelligent than many of us,” he stated.
For Mian Nadeem, the organizer of the event, the gathering was more than just a CSR activity. He shared, “For me, this experience is spiritually reviving. Just spend some time 289886_5431428_magazinewith these children and encourage them for their achievements and see how motivated they feel. I can’t express it in words how satisfying it is to see them smiling. Everybody should take part in such activities and experience the joy of giving.”
Besides motivational speeches and discussions, special children were given flowers and gifts for representing Pakistan at various international forums. Shahid Qadir, Director Complaint Cell Chief Minister Punjab, shared Ishfaq Ahmed’s quote to convey his message: “You give to the creature of Almighty not from your own earnings but from what is given to you by your Creator.”
In today’s fast-paced life, we have become so occupied with our own affairs that we hardly pay attention to others and think of helping them. As a part of this society, we need to build up a support system for differently-abled children so that they could also live a healthy and productive life.

289886_1829565_magazine
It is estimated that, overall, between 500 and 650 million people worldwide live with a significant impairment. According to the World Health Organization (WHO), around 10 percent of the world’s children and young people, some 200 million, have a sensory, intellectual or mental health impairment. Around 80 percent of them live in developing countries.

 

 

The article of mine was originally published in The News International – 9 Mar 2018 (https://www.thenews.com.pk/magazine/us/289886-the-joy-of-giving)

 

 
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Posted by on March 15, 2018 in Uncategorized

 

!اللہ اور اس کے رسول کے نام

Allah or us k Rasool (SAW) k nam
#12RabiAwal
#EidMiladSpecial

In the name of Humanity...

اپنے روزمرہ کے مصروف معاملات میں سے کچھ وقت ہمیں اپنے اللہ، اس کے نبی کے نام کرنا چاہیئے”جلوس سے خطاب کرتے ہو ئے مولانا نے فرمایا۔ مولا نا کے اس خطاب سے پہلے بھی مجھے ایک بات کاخیال اکثر آتا تھا اور خطاب کے بعداس کی شدت میں مزید اضافہ ہوا کہ ہم دین کو اکثر اپنے روز مرہ کے معاملا ت سے الگ کیوں کر دیتے ہیں۔ اب یہ لازم تھوڑی ہے کہ میں کوئی خصوصی اہتمام کروں کہ میں فلاں فلاں عمل اللہ اور اس کے رسول صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم کے لیے کرنے لگا ہوں اور میرا فلاں فلاں دن اللہ اور اس کے رسول کے نام ہے اگر میں آپ سے اچھے اخلاق سے با ت کر لوں تو میرا یہ عمل بھی اللہ اور اس کےرسول کے نا م ہوا، اگر صبح اٹھ کے ماں کو مسکرا کے دیکھ لوں، یہ عمل بھی…

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Posted by on December 1, 2017 in Uncategorized

 
 
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